Welcoming is a Yoga practice and, like Listening, a fundamental pillar of my teaching. Welcoming is the “how to” of relationship: the way understanding becomes lived in our meeting with ourselves, one another and the world.
We often approach a moment with a condition attached. I will be at ease when this feeling changes, when the mind becomes quiet, when the other person understands me. Welcoming invites us to meet what is here before making its improvement the price of admission.
The way you show up is not merely okay. It is welcomed.
Silence. Space. Stillness. Spirit.
Silence. Space. Stillness. Spirit. In Welcoming, we explore union through these invitations. Listen to sound as an expression of Silence. Feel the body’s shape as an expression of Space. Notice the stirring of breath, sensation and thought within Stillness. Let the encounter be felt as a whole, including the presence we speak of as Spirit.
A sound can draw attention so completely that silence seems to have disappeared. The outline of the body can become so familiar that space is overlooked. The stirring of experience can absorb us so completely that stillness goes unnoticed. Shrouded Spirit names this apparent concealment: our true nature is present even when attention is absorbed in its appearance.
In the language of my teaching, these are also ways of speaking of Om: the sounding, shaping, stirring and shrouding through which Silence, Space, Stillness and Spirit appear. Om is the foreground appearance, inseparable from that which it expresses.
Superimposition occurs when we take that foreground appearance to be something separate and complete in itself. Welcoming opens attention to the whole encounter. Sounded and Silent, Shaped and Spacious, Stirred and Still, Shrouded and Unveiled are not-two.
Shrouding points here to the way attention can become absorbed in the sound and overlook the silence out of which it emanates and into which it returns. The appearance expresses our true nature while also seeming to conceal it when we mistake the appearance for the whole.
Welcoming gives room for the appearance and the assumption to become evident. The shroud, too, is welcomed. Insight sees the error of superimposition; that recognition flowers as Being Understanding of one’s true nature. What you truly are and how you appear are not-two.
Welcoming is Space
Consider the space around your body. You can stand, sit, stretch or be still. You can arrive cheerful, uncertain or tired. Space accommodates the way you appear without first asking you to become someone else.
At first, we may identify with the body as something surrounded by space. In Welcoming, the invitation is to feel Being One with Space: the openness that welcomes every appearance without exception. Sound is welcomed, and so is silence. Stirring is welcomed, and so is stillness. Whether something appears or nothing in particular draws our attention, the welcome is present.
This is an invitation to feel rather than simply think about space. Notice the room around your shoulders, the space beside your hands and the openness in which sounds arrive. Allow the body to be included in that whole encounter.
In this exploration, identifying with Space can loosen the familiar identification with a separate, bounded self. The body, thoughts and feelings are included in the openness. We begin to inquire into the assumed separation between what appears and that in which it appears.
Sounded Silence, Shaped Space, Stirred Stillness and Shrouded Spirit invite recognition of what we habitually separate. In Welcoming, appearance and true nature are recognized as not-two. A doing flowers as Being Understanding.
Listening-Feeling: receiving the whole encounter
Listening includes more than hearing words. There is the sound of a voice, the feeling of the body, the movement of thought and the silence in which a conversation unfolds. Listening-Feeling receives this whole encounter.
A sensation may be accompanied almost immediately by a judgment: pleasant, unpleasant, familiar, unwanted. Can the sensation itself also be felt? Its warmth, pressure, movement or changing quality may be quite different from the account we have already made of it.
The judgment, too, can be noticed. There is room for the whole appearance. We do not have to win an argument with the mind before Listening can begin.
A short exploration of Welcoming
Set aside a few comfortable minutes. These invitations can also be explored while sitting on a bench, standing by a window or pausing between ordinary tasks.
- Feel the support beneath you. Notice the contact of your feet, the chair or the ground. Adjust your position so the body is comfortable.
- Explore Sounded Silence and Shaped Space. Let attention open beyond the familiar outline of the body. Hear a nearby sound and a more distant one, together with the silence. Feel the body’s shape and the space around it as one encounter.
- Feel Stirred Stillness. If comfortable, allow a small, easy sway while seated or standing securely. Feel the space in which the body moves. Let the movement settle in its own time. Allow breathing to happen naturally throughout. You can also explore the gentle movement of breathing while sitting still.
- Meet what appears. A thought, a sensation, restlessness or quiet may be here. Notice the impulse to hold it or send it away. That response can also be welcomed.
- Let the exploration enter your next action. Stand up, make tea or speak with someone. Feel how Listening can accompany movement and response.
There is no need to grade the sitting. Notice what you actually encountered. If there was resistance throughout, that is something you have come to know more directly. If you need to move, open your eyes or finish, include that response.
Welcoming what we would rather push away
Welcoming may seem easy when the river is beautiful and the company is agreeable. Everyday life also brings disappointment, impatience and uncertainty. These are often the moments when the invitation becomes most immediate.
Imagine waiting for a reply to a message. The absence of a reply becomes a story: “I have been forgotten.” Feel what is happening in the body. Notice the story as a thought. Can both be received before the story becomes your certainty about the other person?
Or notice irritation during a conversation. There may be heat in the face, tightening in the chest and an urgent reply taking shape. Welcoming gives room to feel this movement and hear what is being said. From there, an appropriate response may become clearer.
You do not have to manufacture a welcoming feeling. “I do not want this” can itself be met with openness. The invitation includes the resistance that appears.
Welcoming in relationship
To welcome another person is to allow them to arrive before requiring them to fit our expectations. Listening gives their words room to be heard. We may discover how often we hear through a prepared answer or an old image of who they are.
This openness can express itself as a question, an honest disagreement, a clear boundary or a practical act of care. What the situation calls for becomes part of the relationship. We can hear someone fully and still say no.
My grandmother showed me Welcoming through her unconditional love. When I first met Jean Klein, I recognized that same quality in his presence. I describe these encounters in Relationship: Welcoming, Listening and Love Lived and Meeting Jean Klein. Here, the invitation is to explore how that quality can find expression in your own meeting with life.
From a practice of Welcoming to Being
At first, Welcoming may feel like something we deliberately do. We remember to pause, feel and listen. As the exploration deepens, we can question the assumption that openness belongs to a separate person who must continually produce it.
Sounds come and go. Sensations change. Thoughts, including the thought “I am doing this well” or “I cannot do this,” appear and pass. What is the Awareness because of which these appearances are evident? This is where Welcoming opens into self-inquiry.
In the Advaita Vedanta understanding I teach, spiritual awakening concerns recognizing what you truly are. Practice prepares and inquiry clarifies; neither creates the Self. Welcoming gives room for assumptions of separation and incompleteness to be seen. A doing flowers as Being.
Listen with your whole being.
What you truly are and how you appear are not-two.
Welcoming is Love Lived
Begin with one encounter today. Hear someone to the end of a sentence. Feel a response before acting on it. Notice the space around the body while waiting for the kettle. Let an ordinary moment be met without first demanding that it become extraordinary.
Welcoming is another word for Love. It becomes visible in our availability, in the way we hear, in the care with which we respond. Welcoming is Love Lived.
For the wider context, read My Teaching and the Spiritual Awakening guide. Continue with The Yoga of Listening for an exploration through everyday conversation.
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